VISITORS FROM OUTER SPACE

During the past few days, one was able to see in the media several reports of aliens from outer space attempting to visit our country and some other strange phenomenon.


Some people reported strange lights coming from the sky whilst some others reported meteors hitting the earth, with some people even producing sample pieces of meteorites.

Then there was the other strange happening of Red Rain which still baffles the authorities. Close on the heels came the rain of dead fish!

With all this talk of the world going to end in a couple of days based on the Mayan’s Calendar, these strange happenings have baffled many. But as any sensible person would know, world is not going to end so soon whatever the doomsday prophets may say.

Now, all of a sudden, the locals are seriously talking of UFOs and other terrestrial creatures which brings to one’s memory a very popular Sinhala song of the eightees titled “Kurumitto” by the music group “Gypsies”

As some wags commented, these extra-terrestial creatures are interested in studying our system of government which is a quasi-dictatorship garbed in a façade of democracy and which is soon due to be declared the “Miracle of Asia”. As the old saying goes, we do impossibilities today and miracles take place tomorrow!

Another wag commented that the reason for the government to increase the price of fuel all of a sudden, even when there is no increase in world market prices, is to deter these ETs coming in their flying dishes to fill their tanks here with our super-quality petrol at cheap prices.

One more school of opinion says that the ETs are here with the intention of kidnapping the members of our PSC who have done such a marvellous job in world record time, so that they can examine their brains and use them to get similar work done in outer space.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

With Christmas fast approaching, it is the Season of Goodwill and giving, with most people waiting eagerly for some presents from Santa Claus! So, politicians should not be an exception as they have many needs.


Here is a wish list taking into consideration the current political scenario:

For President Rajapakse : a cure for his phobia of women (Chandrika, Anoma, Shirani)

For the UNP Leader, Ranil: power to be the UNP leader for life time

For Minister Weerawansa: a permanent cure for the supposed to be incurable disease called “verbal diarrhea”

For “doctor” Mervin Silva: to be officially anointed as King of Kelaniya with Lamborghini racing cars for himself and his family members

For Minister Dilan Perera: powers to at least order some buffalos to do his bidding

For crown prince Namal: to conduct night races every night in all parts of the country

For Sarath Fonseka: ability to retain whoever is still left in his party

For Sarath Silva: ability to get back into the good books of the president even at the expense of betraying the legal fraternity

For Sajith Premadasa: strength to challenge the leader and be the presidential candidate next time

For Maithripala Sirisena: Ability to exercise his powers as General Secretary of SLFP to take disciplinary action against at least one wayward member of the party without interference from the top

For Susil Premajayantha: the ability to “hedge” the ill-effects of the “hedging” deal

For Ratnasiri Wickremanayake: to be the Prime Minister once again and avoid the derogatory term of “Gedera Yana Gamang”

And finally, to the citizens of this country:

Wherewithal to at least afford one good meal in a day

Merry Christmas to all!

OF JOKERS, CLOWNS AND COURT JESTERS

The decision of the Chief Justice, Shirani Bandaranaike, to write to the Speaker of the Parliament through her lawyers reporting the abuse and embarrassment caused to her by 2 Ministers of the government who served in the PSC, is to say the least very commendable and timely. Bolstered with the predetermined judgement of the PSC to find the Chief Justice guilty of the charges, these two Ministers were hell-bent on proving their allegiance and loyalty to their Boss in no uncertain terms – just like pet canines do for their master.


Minister Weerawansa, the ex-JVPer, who may have conducted many “kangaroo style” trials of wayward young boys and girls during the hey days of the JVP struggle and also “sentenced” some of them to instant death, may have thought of this committee inquisition too as one of those trials to show his ability to shout and intimidate the “suspects”. They say that little learning is very dangerous and one cannot surely expect any better behavior from such a character, who, as most of the people in the country know, is suffering from an incurable disease called “Verbal Diahorrea” . He has also the unfortunate tendency to give overtime to his mouth when his brain is sleeping (which is most of the time!)

The other Minister, Dilan Perera, is no better when it comes to verbal abuse of his opponents and in this committee, they formed a formidable duo in winning the trophy for the person with the most ability to insult and embarrass.

One waits with abated breath to know the reaction of the Speaker of the Parliament to this complaint against government MPs and one would hope and pray that the Speaker would not, in this instance too, invoke the “supremacy” of the Parliament and defend the uncouth behavior of the two Ministers by decreeing that outside parties have no right or authority to interfere in to the affairs of the elected MPs and it is entirely upto them to behave in any dastardly manner they consider fit within and outside the august assembly, as they are duly elected representatives of the “sovereign people”.

IT'S A "POL MESS" NOW

The announcement of the President the other day that he wants to appoint an “independent committee” to study the Select Committee report on the Impeachment of the Chief Justice came as a bit of surprise as the government side has always been maintaining the supremacy of the legislature and its unquestionable powers to take any action against the judiciary as per the Constitution.


Now the moot point is if the Select Committee proceedings have been conducted strictly as per the Constitution, then why is the need for an “independent committee” to review its decisions, as envisaged by the President, which leaves many questions unanswered, rather than offering a way out of this imbroglio.

Where is the provision in the Constitution to appoint an “independent committee” to review the decisions of a Parliamentary Select Committee appointed by the Speaker under powers vested in him as per the Constitution?

Why is the sudden need for such an independent committee unless of course the President does not have any faith in either the Select Committee members who are mostly his own cabinet ministers or else on the MPs who initially signed the petition against the Chief Justice – all those MPs also belonging to his own political party.

Now it is obvious that the President himself feels that something is wrong somewhere as to the manner in which those entrusted with the responsibility have carried out their tasks, with reports of even a couple of Ministers using unparliamentary language against the Chief Justice who belongs to the fair sex, in a male dominated committee, which just goes to show the uncouth nature of some of those who call themselves cabinet ministers. It would be interesting to see how the proposed “independent committee” would handle the issue and if they would have the courage to recommend disciplinary action against the ministers who misbehaved with the lady Chief Justice.

After all, it would be a Himalayan task for the committee, provided one can find a thoroughly independent person or persons to constitute this committee given the highly charged political atmosphere in the country.

"HUNGER GAMES"

Our politicians, most of whom are guilty of the Seven Deadly Sins, now seem to be more addicted to a particular sin, i.e. Gluttony.


Judging by the way the Members of Parliament from both divides are clamouring to satisfy their limitless taste buds at subsidized rates on tax payers’ account, in addition to enjoying all sorts of luxuries as part of their emoluments, is to say the least an utter shame on that august institution. Whilst one demands Beef, another one demands Pork and one member of the fair sex wants to enhance her beauty by indulging in honey and flakes – all at ridiculously subsidized prices which really amounts to mocking at the less privileged who are fighting tooth and nail on a daily basis just to earn a pittance barely enough to buy some bread and “parippu” for their daily meal.

If these privileged members of the parliament have different or highly sophisticated taste buds than the ordinary public and have a “dola duka” to indulge in exotic foods such as pork, ham, bacon or even venison – that is none of our business as long as they pay for such stuff just like the other people in the country do. What one cannot comprehend is what rights these so called “servants of the people” have to eat off the pockets of the poor public of the country.

One should not also forget that these unfortunate members of the public are forced to take a parcel of a modest rice and curry to their workplace for lunch and to prepare that, their spouses have to get up even before the cock crows.

What is really funny is that after partaking of thoroughly subsidized food, one minister has the audacity to suggest that an amount of Rs. 2,500.- is sufficient for one person to live for a month in this country and another minister is measuring the daily increasing cost of living based on the cost of a Bulath Vita!

KING “KEKILLE” AND “ANDARE” ARE ALIVE AND KICKING

Recent events have proved beyond doubt that we have in our midst reborn King Kekille and Andare to show that History repeats itself!



The Kangaroo court verdict given against General Fonseka smacks of shades of King Kekille and now with the hilarious ex-parte conclusion of the Parliamentary Select Committee against the Chief Justice it has shown once again that King Kekille is alive and kicking.

With an over-enthusiastic electronic and print media disseminating loads of disinformation and propaganda, King Kekille is given a new lease of life not even dreamt of by him in his previous births.

Some of us have heard of the classic tale of how King Kekille punished an innocent by-stander by getting him crushed by his royal elephant for a totally unrelated incident of a house being collapsed killing its occupants. Pretty soon, we might even hear of a modern version of such a judgement from his current reborn “avatar”.

Although “Kavata Andare” was a very innocent and genuine Royal Jester who kept his King and Queen entertained with his harmless antics ; the modern day Andare is a vicious character who somehow manages to keep his King in good spirits with his countless antics. Among some of the classic antics is how he tied a government servant to a tree and got that same person to admit that he himself asked for it! And then he showed to the whole country what a classic joker he is during his visit to the television station Rupavahini sometime back.

And so, in these days where everybody is talking of a King and a Royal Family, it is not surprising that some of these historic characters have thought of being born in this land to reprise their roles.

PUPPETS ON A STRING

It was William Shakespeare who once said : “the whole world is a stage and we are all actors on it”


In the fifties and sixties, the general public were enthralled with way-side puppet shows staged by famous craftsmen from down South and people of all ages really enjoyed these shows during various carnivals and Vesak celebrations where another type of characters called “Olu Bakkos” too entertained the crowds.

Of late, these shows have gone into decline due to the emergence of another breed of characters called political jokers who have now taken over the entire stage and started entertaining the common people. These characters are indeed versatile in performing monkey dances, acrobatics, long jumps, high jumps etc. in addition to noise pollution with their screaming voices.

Noteworthy among these characters are some Ministers of the government who occupy prominent places in the country due to their versatility in these performances. However, none can beat the antics of one particular minister who claims to be a direct descendant of King Dutugemunu, although he has a Portuguese surname. His antics are well recorded such as the beating and sewerage treatment he got from employees of Rupavahini; his act of tying a government servant to a tree; general hulabaloo he creates whenever he attends a public function such as riding bikes without helmets. He has now assumed a new role for himself – that of making babies for those who were not lucky enough to become parents!

One wonders if there is a head of the government in this country because there seems to be not even a whimper of a warning for this joke of a Minister to stop polluting the atmosphere of the country. Instead, he is also allowed to function in multiple roles as Palace Joker, “Duk Gannna Raala” and chief “Dhobi” to clean dirty linen etc.

It is time to change Shakespeare’s words : “The whole country is a stage and all politicians are actors on it, with the ordinary people being mere spectators”